“Soul Swipe” literally swipes my soul into a hellish cesspit of frustration, annoyance, and impatience.
Okay. So I first heard about “Soul Swipe” through one of my best friends. “You have to try it — it’s like Tinder, but for Black people!”
Shoot. She ain’t gotta tell me twice. An app filled with chocolate-dipped, mocha, melanin-rich men? I downloaded Soul Swipe faster than you can say, “Yes gawd!”
Buuuuuuuuuuuut, it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be. Here are my issues with Soul Swipe.
IT’S TOO DAMN BUGGY
Soul Swipe is a new app, but goddamnit it’s been “new” since April from what I’ve heard. It’s f***ing September and Soul Swipe is still buggy as sh**.
You have to wait way too damn long for a man’s profile photo to load in order to make the decision on whether you want to swipe left or right. And sometimes, I swipe right — even before the picture loads — in risky impatience. When I finally see the profile photo, I automatically regret my hastiness. *Shudder*
The rapid-fire Tinder-esque quickness of swiping left and right is lost on Soul Swipe.
Soul Swipe Forces You to Connect Through Facebook
I don’t know about you, but for me, Facebook is sort of personal to me. What I choose to share on Facebook is certainly not the same info I’d like to share on a dating app and vise versa.
That being said, when I signed up for Soul Swipe, I was totally annoyed about the fact that I needed to sign up through Facebook. And I almost didn’t even go through with it. Why? Because…
I’m SO not OK with Soul Swipe having access to my Facebook and telling all my friends, family and everyone else, that I’m scoping out the dating pool on an app! Shouldn’t I be allowed to be discreet?!
Thankfully, Soul Swipe does allow you to be surreptitious. Thank God Almighty, the app didn’t post any incriminating evidence of my coy search for Godiva chocolate men on Soul Swipe. But still, most people would be a lot more confident about the dating app if Facebook was not involved. I may have went through with the sign-up, but I’m sure thousands of others ditched it because of this.
AND ANOTHER thing… Soul Swipe nabs your Facebook profile and posts it as your Soul Swipe display picture. Nooooooooooo! Soul Swipe — what are you doing? Don’t do that! Luckily, there IS a way to change the photo and choose one you like. But the fact that Soul Swipe has the audacity to grab my Facebook photo without asking really turned me off.
The Odd Messaging System
So after swiping right — and once they swipe right for you, too — they are known as “matches” and are compiled in a long a** list for your inconvenience.
It’s inconvenient because scrolling through that long a** list can get ridiculously confusing. This is because there is no clear notification logo for when someone sends you a new message. There is a green dot that pops up, but this could either be an indication of a new match or a new message. You don’t know.
So what happens is you end up with people usually taking forever to respond because we have to scroll through a long a** list of matches, click on the one with the green dots, and determine whether it’s just a match or that person actually sent a message.
It gets worse. Sometimes, when someone sends you message, the green dot doesn’t appear at all. Lovely.
The Profile Space Sucks
I get it. Filling out dating profiles are annoying — it’s equivalent to an interviewer asking you to describe yourself (Oh no! What do I say?!) But a nicely filled-out profile gives users ammo to start an interesting conversation. “Oh she likes Latin dancing, huh?” *Hits her up* “I would love to be the other half of your tango…” Okay, that was cheesy, but trust me, it’s way better than the oh-so-popular, convo-killing “Hi” and the dreaded “What u doin?” The conversation just drags and goes nowhere.
So my problem with “Soul Swipe” is not providing a profile space that is sectioned off with different interests: music, film, hobbies, etc. Asking us to just “Say something about yourself” is a recipe for disaster because many people leave it blank because writing free-form “About Me’s” suck big, hairy, gigantic balls.
Uh okay. I got your name, age, and height…. Great. Now how do I start a stimulating conversation with that information?
Now the actual caliber of men on Soul Swipe is impressive. I mean, there is definitely a nice selection of fiiiiineee men. Like any other dating app, you’ll find your weirdos, but there are definitely some gems.
Personally, I will delete Soul Swipe, but if Soul Swipe can get its sh** together (i.e. the bugs, recreating the profile space), this dating app could be a winner. And I may even re-install. But for now, for the sake of my sanity, I will stay away. I give it a 2.8 out of 5.