My ex-friend, let’s call her Alice, infuriated me this year after telling me about a man that “played” her, but she still decided to f*** him.
The “player” was a 27-year-old Latino dad who she met at a club we were both at over the summer. It was a wild night with women shakin’ their butts to Fetty Wap, drinks gettin’ everybody “turned up,” and men out on the prowl for their next romp in the sack.
The man, supposedly entranced by my friend Alice, handed her his business card instead of the usual “number exchange.” Except, it wasn’t really a business card. It was just a card with his name (he calls himself “Lyon,” and no I’m not joking) and number on it. Right off the bat, any woman with a lick of discernment should know this guy ain’t no good. Who takes the time to make business- cards-that-aren’t-really-business-cards to distribute to any woman that walks his way? A m*****f***ing player.
Alice showed me the “business card” and I choked.
I waved Mr. “Lyon” away like he was a pesky fly. “Ha! You deserve better,” I said.
Well, I guess Alice didn’t agree because, two days later, she tells me that she gave him a call. But she’s extremely upset.
“What’s the matter, sis?” (Alice is my sorority sister).
Long story short, Lyon called Alice “ugly.”
What happened was, when Alice called Lyon, they really hit it off – to a point where they were up ‘til 3am still flapping their gums about their lives. And out of the blue, Lyon asked, “Hey can you send me a selfie?”
She did as he requested.
Alice waited for his response.
15 minutes went by – nothing.
45 minutes go by – nada.
An hour goes by – zilch
Two hours in, Alice cracks and asks, “Um, soooooooooooooo….what did you think of the picture?”
Lyon finally responds and says, “Erm. Okay look. I’m going to be honest with you. I think you’re incredibly smart and very fun to talk to. But – er – how can I say this nicely? I THOUGHT YOU WERE CUTE.”
“Wait,” Alice said. “Are you saying that you think I’m unattractive? But you saw me at the club and you clearly liked me enough to approach me.”
“Yeah, er, I think I must’ve had my beer goggles on,” Lyon replied insensitively.
So Alice is telling me this story and I’m like “WHAT?! HOW DARE HE. THIS FOOL IS A DEADBEAT DAD WHO IS STILL BOUNCING AROUND THE CLUBS WITH BUSINESS CARDS THAT AREN’T EVEN BUSINESS CARDS AND HE HAS THE NERVE TO TURN YOU DOWN FOR SOMETHING SO SUPERFICIAL AS THAT?!”
I just instantly went into protection mode. How dare you disrespect my friend in such a manner!
I reassured Alice that she must have taken a selfie with a bad angle (It happens, doesn’t it ladies?). Because, in my eyes, she’s beautiful.
So she’s all upset and hurt by this a**hole who tells her that he doesn’t want to talk to her anymore, right? And a week later, she tells me that she has sex with him (yes, you heard right – she HAD SEX with him). And then CRIES AGAIN because he ignores her calls and disappears on her.
Now I am no longer angry at Lyon.
I am now livid at my friend and sorority sister, Alice.
“Have you LOST your mind? That fool of a man that rivals Kevin Hart in height DARES tell YOU that you’re unattractive and you decide to f*** him anyway? What the f*** did you expect?! I mean really!”
I went OFF.
I was so upset about it, I blogged about it right here on The Melody of Melanin. Everything I wrote on the blog, I told Alice to her face. I made sure to even change the names of the characters involved. But I blogged out my feelings because I knew this story could serve other women who think that sleeping with a**holes will win their affections.
I titled the blog post, “’I Need to Be Married by 30!’ Why You Shouldn’t Rush to ANY Relationship” In its entirety, the piece didn’t center around Alice’s story – it was about women who jump into sh** relationships out of desperation. And I used Alice’s story as an anecdote.
Now here’s where things went left.
After a few months of writing the piece, one of my articles on The Melody of Melanin got super popular – my review of a dating app called Soul Swipe. I was so excited by its success, I started sending the link to the article to all my friends. Including Alice.
Two hours later, I get a viciously angry text from Alice. “REALLY?! YOU WROTE A BLOG POST ABOUT ME? WOW OKAY.”
My heart sank. She perused through my whole blog. And she stumbled upon the piece that contained her story.
I didn’t know what to say. And I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to go on the defensive – I wanted to say, “Well everything I said on the blog post, I said to your face. And I changed the names. So what’s the issue?” But I was mature enough to know that this wouldn’t blow over well. Just because I – personally – would not be bothered by something, doesn’t mean OTHERS won’t be. And I have to respect that.
After a few days or so, I reached out to Alice and apologized. I told her that I understood why she was upset and that I would take the blog post down. And I did. She said, “I know that you told me everything that you wrote in your piece to my face. And I know that you changed names. But it’s the fact that you told the world about how pathetic I was to entertain your readers.”
Of course, that was not my intention at all. The reason I blog is because it is cathartic. If I didn’t write, I’d explode.
I apologized again, but Alice said, “I accept your apology, but I don’t think our friendship will ever be the same.”
I got her message. She didn’t want to be friends with me anymore.
“I just can’t trust you.”
And just like that, I lost a friend due to my blog.
But I guess this is the nature of blogging. Writers are affected – negatively or positively – by their lives and they feel compelled to discuss it and share it. And our lives do involve our friends, families, and all the other characters that revolve around us.
I just want to say I do miss Alice. I really, really do. 😦 But, I have to accept the consequences of my actions. After this day, I solemnly swear to only post about my own life – not third parties.