1.When Your Crush has a Crush on a Celebrity Who Looks Nothing Like You
Why This Shouldn’t Offend You: People settle for less all the time. Don’t worry about it!
2. When a Stranger Sitting Next to You On a Bus or Train Moves to Another Seat
Why This Shouldn’t Offend You: There are actually plenty of non-offensive reasons why he could have moved away! Maybe he was feeling gassy and, to be very considerate of your nose (which has already gone through a lot being on the NYC Subway, let’s be honest here), he made the gentlemanly move to scoot over and have someone else take a whiff of his fatal flatulence.
3.When a Friend Doesn’t Text Back. Even Though the Conversation is Clearly Dead
Why This Shouldn’t Offend You: Put yourself in their shoes for once! Have you ever tried to start a conversation after “OK”?
I rest my case.
4.When Someone Hates a Movie, Show, Actor, or Musician You Love
Why It Shouldn’t Offend You. It’s really not that serious. I mean, really.
6.When Your Significant Other Doesn’t Get Jealous
Why This Shouldn’t Offend You: Wait, so you mean to tell me you significant other trusts you enough to know that you won’t go running to other men like some floozy?! The nerve of him!
7.When Someone Gives You Suggestions on How You Can Improve Their Sex Life
Why This Shouldn’t Offend You: She’s trying to help you become a “sex god” for chrissakes! ‘Til then, have fun listening to fake orgasms.